Soo... I'm part of a church plant. Jesse is the mack at playing the guitar so he's the worship leader guy. Deborah is really social so she coordinates ministry opportunities for us; Tim's been to seminary so he's the cool preacher/church planter.
Me? I'm good at eating. But unfortunately there isn't a position in the church just for eating or I would be ALL up in that...
So I'm the intercessory (or) prayer person.
Now for those of you that don't really know me, you don't know how hilarious that is. You see, I'm VERY easily distracted. I'm having trouble writing the blog post b/c I keep wanting to search new tabs for a picture to go with this post, or check my mail, or my facebook, twitter, phone...
Also I suck at praying.
I am soooo not good at praying. I have to pray in a journal because praying quietly in my head is im-freaking-possible. I don't even like praying! I know that that's a horrible thing to say but I'm a horrible person and I'm also trying this new thing called honesty. It's a struggle to pray every. single. day. for me. And when your main job is to be the prayer person in a church plant you NEED to pray EVERYDAY.
A couple of months ago... the closest thing to a prayer life I had was asking God for a front row parking space at the grocery store. That was the *extent* of my prayer/relationship with God.
Well you know what? Sometimes God has a different plan.
I think sometimes God puts you in something that you suck at to show *His* glory. That way there's no doubt in anyone's mind that God was the one doing all the work.
Because lets face it: I still fidget and get itchy during our closing prayer. My palms get sweaty and I'm constantly shifting my feet or peeking at other people to see if they're peeking. And I count how many times that Deborah says "God" when it's her turn to pray (53).
I still completely suck at this... but Peter sucked at being a disciple at first too right?
Me? I'm good at eating. But unfortunately there isn't a position in the church just for eating or I would be ALL up in that...
So I'm the intercessory (or) prayer person.
Now for those of you that don't really know me, you don't know how hilarious that is. You see, I'm VERY easily distracted. I'm having trouble writing the blog post b/c I keep wanting to search new tabs for a picture to go with this post, or check my mail, or my facebook, twitter, phone...
Also I suck at praying.
I am soooo not good at praying. I have to pray in a journal because praying quietly in my head is im-freaking-possible. I don't even like praying! I know that that's a horrible thing to say but I'm a horrible person and I'm also trying this new thing called honesty. It's a struggle to pray every. single. day. for me. And when your main job is to be the prayer person in a church plant you NEED to pray EVERYDAY.
A couple of months ago... the closest thing to a prayer life I had was asking God for a front row parking space at the grocery store. That was the *extent* of my prayer/relationship with God.
Well you know what? Sometimes God has a different plan.
I think sometimes God puts you in something that you suck at to show *His* glory. That way there's no doubt in anyone's mind that God was the one doing all the work.
Because lets face it: I still fidget and get itchy during our closing prayer. My palms get sweaty and I'm constantly shifting my feet or peeking at other people to see if they're peeking. And I count how many times that Deborah says "God" when it's her turn to pray (53).
I still completely suck at this... but Peter sucked at being a disciple at first too right?
Welcome to Earth, ORB. :)
ReplyDeleteJust pray like you blog, only use the first draft. God likes that stuff, and everybody else can deal with it.
That's good! Pray like I blog. Only without spell check ;)
ReplyDeleteAppreciate the honesty. Do you think God could have put me in this job that I am horrible at to show his Glory?
ReplyDeleteIn Richard Foster's compilation, Devotional Classics, there is a whole section devoted to different methods of prayer. On thing I've learned from class is that no two prayer lives are the same. And there are many methods of prayer.
ReplyDeleteBut most importantly is this:
1) the Holy Spirit is already praying for all our needs, in trinitarian communion with the Father and Son. Basically, the three are sharing a time of prayer on our behalf, and we we participate in prayer, we are being allowed to join that.
2) Don't try to do a lot at one time. We often feel like we have to read our Bibles for 30 minutes then afterward, pray for 30 straight minutes. But we don't have to. Tell yourself you'll pray for 5 minutes. If you find yourself focused, continue. But next time tell yourself 5 minutes again, so you don't dread 30 minutes, etc.
@Anonymous 1 - I don't know, I can't speak for God, but I do know that God can use *any* situation even the bleakest looking one as the one that turns everything around. I mean look at the cross! :) You never know who's life you're touching or inspiring just by showing up everyday.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous 2 - Thanks for the tips! I need to print #2 out for my fridge so I stop beating myself up for not doing a straight hour of prayer!
girl, you know how uncomfortable I am with praying...this is something that we've talked about A LOT (at least I'm pretty sure haha).
ReplyDeleteguess the whole point to my commenting is that the more you pray, the more that you get comfortable/good at...at least that's what others told me growing up.....
Woo you and me both... If that's true that the more you pray the more comfortable/good you get at it then I need to pray A LOT!! Haha!
ReplyDeleteThe awesome thing about God is his power is made perfect in our weaknesses as Paul reasonably concluded in 2nd Corinthians 12:9. I never ever ever EVER wanted to go to India, let alone teach (complete fear of public speaking) but here I am teaching in India. What the ??? So, just keep praying! He puts us in these situations so that we don't become prideful and arrogant; so we always know who's power is behind it all. His power and strength, not our own.
ReplyDeleteI *love* that verse! Great comment. I bet you're going to be a great teacher. Just being obedient and willing to do what God tells us to do and go where He tells us to go is the first step. You are an inspiration!
ReplyDeleteSo today, I was thinking "I should write a blog about how I suck at prayer. I mean, I really, really suck. Hmm, I wonder if people will judge me for not praying well. Hmm, I wonder if the people who don't know Christ who read my blog will think I'm an idiot, I mean, who writes about sucking at being 'Christian'...." (seriously, that's my train of thought. scary, I know.) Then, somehow through the magic of the interweb, I end up here on your blog. And you already wrote it for me! So thanks :)
ReplyDeleteAw! This makes my *whole* day!! Thank *you*!
ReplyDeleteSuper great comment, I have the same train of thoughts!
@Reccewife - I could blog every freaking day about how I suck at being a Christian.
ReplyDeleteWanna confession? I can pray in public just fine. I can pray things that people really like to hear. And I mean them. I'm not intending to fake anything. They're things I would LIKE to pray all the time.
Yet it feels really fake.
I have a hard time praying too. I'm so grateful to know I'm not alone! I got here through El Chupacabra, and love what I've read so far! <3
ReplyDeleteloveisYHWH.blogspot.com